Baconlover's Mystery Box

2006-05-04T01:23:00.000-04:00

Go to my Myspace!

2006-05-01T23:25:00.000-04:00

I've started a new site at myspace. Just go to:

http://www.myspace.com/sarapirklehughes

Hope to see you there!

How Bacon and I are spending our Spring Break

2006-03-22T11:50:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm halfway through my three-week-long Spring Break, and as of today, I really have nothing to show for my time off. I had visions of scrapbooking, vidding, and sorting through all the junk in our apartment to give to Goodwill, and all I've done is watched t.v. and played Legend of Zelda, the Windwaker (thanks to Amy and Jamey who got me hooked when I went to Alabama last week). Bacon has been loving having me home - as soon as Scott gets up in the morning, Bacon moves from his spot at the foot of the bed right up to Scott's pillow and snuggles in for another two or three hours with me. At 9 or 10 we get up, have a nice long walk, then come in for a bowl of Count Chocula and an hour browsing online. Actually, while I'm browsing, Bacon takes his position at the window, watching for squirrels or people walking their dogs and as soon as he sees something, he loses control and starts barking like he's on crack. Here he is in his lookout pose (which has become his primary stance in the past 2 weeks)

Right now, as I write this, he's freaking out because there's a squirrel on the fence across the way and Bacon is convinced that the squirrel is teasing him. He keeps running toward me and pawing me, then running back to the window and howling, then hopping from the futon to the armchair and then running into the kitchen to get some water because his throat is so sore from barking, then resuming his post, all the while wagging his tail and panting happily as if this is the most fun any creature could possible have on a Wednesday morning. In some ways, I believe that he thinks he is protecting me from that squirrel, but it's more than that - he's engaging in his own little game that he's created simply because I lifted the blinds one day to let some natural sunlight in. He's so proud of himself too - man, I love my mittle mountain lion!

Well, time to actually try to get something done around here - there's a whole corner in our bedroom that's been collecting junk for the past two years - I avow to sort through it all, throw most of it away, and donate to Goodwill anything that is remotely usable.

Bragging on my Baby!

2006-03-19T11:46:00.000-05:00

I'm so excited for Scott - he's done something that many of us only dream of doing - he lost a ton of weight. And he did it by exercising and cutting back on the Krispy Kremes, rather than doing a crazy crash diet. Plus, he's been able to maintain the weight loss (though, I have to admit, every now and then I get nervous that he'll lose more weight and then weigh less than me). So, in honor of his great accomplishment, I thought I'd post some before and after pictures so everyone can see how great he looks.

Before After

Doesn't he look great? Yay, Baby!

Yay, I remembered my old password!

2006-03-14T11:09:00.000-05:00

It's been so long since I last blogged, primarily because I forgot my password, so I couldn't get to my dashboard, so I couldn't post. Other reasons also include how ridiculously busy I've been this semester. I found out the day before the Spring Semester started that GCSU needed me to teach a class, so I had less than 24 hours to put together a syllabus that didn't include any reading for the first three weeks (since the bookstore needed time to order my books). Needless to say, I was expecting to take this semester off, so the fact that I have to drive to Milledgeville twice a week after teaching at Montessori all day has turned me into a silly, sleepy ball of chaos - I feel like I'm constantly running from one place to another without sitting down to breathe.

On top of that, I've been trying to exercise more, and yippity skippity doo, as of yesterday, I have officially lost the ten pounds I gained after I got married! (it took about 6 months to gain, 2 1/2 years to maintain, and 6 months to lose).

Here is a picture of me from New Year's, when I had lost about 7 pounds, so imagine me 3 pounds lighter! (I know it's hard to imagine - if that hot girl to the left lost 3 more pounds, she'd disappear!)

I wanted to post a couple other pictures from New Year's Eve because we had so much fun! So here they are! (Hey, better late than never!)

Here are Willie and me after the midnight toast - and as you can see, we were quite toasty! (and why is his hand on my stomach?) After this picture was taken, Willie proceeded to profess his undying love for everyone at the party, then he tackled Ross on the balcony and threw up a little bit.

Bacon hid under the table for most of the night - I'm sure it's intimidating to be a small fuzzy creature among large, drunk, less fuzzy people who want to pick you up all night. And poor thing, he could barely see what was going on because his face fur was so overgrown! At least he got a lot of Totinos Pizza rolls that night! (which could be why he stayed so close to the table)

Well, I wanted to add some more pictures, but the computer is freaking out, so I better post before I lose any of this! I am seriously going to try to blog a lot over the break, especially because I'm not writing everyday with my middle schoolers (you know, since we're all out of school for three weeks).

Christmas pictures, etc.

2006-01-05T19:59:00.000-05:00

Well, I haven't posted in several weeks, and I don't really have a good reason - after all, I've been off work ever since the last post. However, Scott and I have been all over the state visiting people and having people visit us, so I guess that's a good enough excuse. I got a digital camera for Christmas, and now I can post my very own pictures, so I figured I would just post a few from Christmas and then next time a few from New Year's (both Eve and Day - I had a blast on both of those days, catching up with old friends). This first one is our family portrait - don't we look professory in our jackets?

Jenny got Dance Dance Revolution (Mario Mix) for Christmas and we spent hours playing it - I got some great video footage to embarrass everyone (which will show up on a DVD later!). I spent four hours doing DDR and I was so sore the next day - especially my calves! Word of advice - if you're going to do DDR, try to stretch before and after your workout. Here are Brad and Jenny doing some fancy footwork. Check out the Bease taking a long winter's nap on the far left.

Finally, Amy's new boyfriend, Jamey, made an appearance the day after Christmas and everyone got to know him. He's such a sweetie, and he really fit in well with our family. (Although it is a bit strange how similar he is to Scott - not only in the way he looks, but also how he acts. Can anyone say doppleganger?) What was funny was that Scott shaved his beard off like two days before Jamey showed up, and Scott was kind of relieved that he'd done that because they really would have looked alike. In fact, I think Bacon was a little bit confused because when Jamey and Amy left, he started going into hysterics and I think for a little while he thought Scott and I had abandoned him.

Anyhoo, more pictures later - right now I need to walk Bacon and then Scott and I are going to Fazoli's for spaghetti!

Air guitar like a superstar

2005-12-12T13:43:00.000-05:00

This is just a shout out to my twin sister, Amy, because I miss her and can't wait to see her at Christmas! (Plus, I thought the picture - circa 1986 - was cute). As far as I can tell, Amy's in the Nike shirt and I'm in the sunglasses -- don't we look like we're about to party? You know, it's funny, we were so broke back then - if you look at the house in the background, you can tell it's a craphole, but it didn't really matter to us. I can remember during the winter it would get so cold there was frost on the inside of the windows and we could see our breath while lying in bed. We called that house "The Yellow House" and there was only one source of heat: a tall olive green heater in the hallway that had a gas fire inside it. Before school my mom would wake us up and she'd already have our school clothes laid out in front of the heater and all four of us kids would crowd in the hall to change because it was too cold to change in our rooms. In the summer we played outside a lot because there wasn't really airconditioning in the house (there was a window unit in the kitchen, but the rest of the house was hot). As a kid, I never knew that other kids had any more or any less than we did - materialism wasn't a concept I understood. Sure, that new pair of sunglasses was awesome or if we got new toys we were totally psyched, but we didn't care if our jeans had holes or our hair was clean (in fact, I hated washing and drying my hair because it would get so tangled).

Now that I teach kindergartners, I see some of that same carefree attitude toward clothes and possessions, but not as much as I'd like. A lot of the little girls I teach are very aware that their clothes cost a lot of money and they'll brag about where they bought it: Gap, Old Navy, etc. Sure, some of the kids are just excited that their jackets have Tinkerbell or Barbie on them, but some of the others are very aware of namebrands. These little children are walking advertisements for Tommy Hilfiger, Polo/ Ralph Lauren, and Calvin Klein. Some people may argue that because I teach private school the children are more aware of money and consumerism, and that's probably true in some aspects. But at the same time, I wonder if the whole country isn't just more aware of labels? Or were my childhood peers like this in the mid-80's and I was just oblivious to it? (I do realize as I write this that Amy is wearing a Nike shirt in the picture - but I can almost guarantee she didn't know what the shirt said and I'll bet my parents didn't buy it for her). I don't think I was aware of namebrands until I was 11 or 12 and only then it was because I was being made fun of for not wearing the right brands. I just hope that children aren't being consumed by consumerism at younger ages. I hate to think that childhood innocence is being erased by companies trying to make a buck.

Rent Control

2005-12-11T11:41:00.000-05:00

Rosario Dawson joins the rest of the original Broadway cast in Rent, a passionate, highly energetic musical about life in the East Village of New York City during the height of the AIDS scare of the late 1980's/early 1990's.

Though I grew up listening to various Broadway musicals (thanks to the Bease, who's always been a fan of musical theater), I had never heard or seen Rent. Since I didn't quite know what to expect, I just went in to the movie with an open mind, and that's exactly the kind of mindset a viewer must have when approaching the musical. If you have rigid ideas about how to love and how to live life, then this movie will certainly challenge your ideas. As self-proclaimed Bohemians, the characters embrace and celebrate all walks of life; that's not to say that the movie glamorizes drug use, homosexuality, and exotic dancing, because it certainly shows the painful consequences that the characters must face due to their choices, but at the same time, the movie never judges these characters, and for that reason, the musical remains lighthearted and hopeful even in the darker moments of life.

The plot is fairly pointless to this musical (the plot? all these Bohemians are going to be evicted from their lofts because they haven't paid rent in months - oh no, where are they going to go?). What matters in this movie is not the thin plot, but the themes of love and embracing life despite the hard times. What the musical seems to be screaming at some points is: LIFE IS SHORT! LOVE EVERYONE YOU CAN! And though the "carpe diem" theme is common in many movies, it's nice to be reminded every now and then that happiness can be free if you're willing to let go of your own fear and love people who are different from you.

Breakthrough performances include Jesse L. Martin as Tom Collins, a part-time professor suffering from AIDS who has fallen in love with a drag queen named Angel (played with exuberance by Wilson Jermaine Heredia). Tom's love for Angel centers and stablilizes the other characters in their own quests for love. The character of Tom Collins could have been portrayed as angry or cynical about his own life (after all, he has AIDS, he gets kicked out of a teaching job at MIT presumably because of his disease, he gets mugged in the opening shots of the film, and his soul mate only has a few months to live). But instead, Martin gives the character a lot of joy and internal peace.

My other favorite performance in the movie is from Anthony Rapp, who plays Mark Cohen, a heterosexual film maker on the verge of selling out in order to make enough money to eat and pay rent. Rapp has had a fairly successful career in film (including roles in A Beautiful Mind, Adventures in Babysitting, Six Degrees of Separation, Dazed and Confused, and School Ties), but it's evident in this performance that musical theater is where he belongs. Not only is he an amazing singer and incredible actor, but he's also a great dancer and he throws himself completely into the role. Actually that can be said about all of the actors in the film - this musical calls for big performances and though some of the lyrics and lines are completely cheesy, the actors never seem embarrassed to be singing and dancing about AIDS.

Overall, I think the movie had great performances and a lot of energy, but at two hours and fifteen minutes, it's way too long - I think if 30 minutes had been cut, the movie would have been a lot more enjoyable. Perhaps Chris Columbus, the director, felt obligated to include every song from the original stage production, but I really think that the Maureen/ Joanne lesbian subplot is probably the most expendable and pointless, particularly the engagement dinner and Maureen's self-indulgent, painfully long stage performance in protest of being evicted (images of Susan Sarandon's tap dance routine in Elizabethtown came to mind).

Grade: B

The Truth About Cats and Dogs

2005-11-13T09:05:00.000-05:00

Are you a cat person or a dog person? Some people may be both, but so often I hear people say, "Oh, I don't like cats, I'm a dog person," or "Dogs are gross, cats are better." When I was a little girl, I always liked cats better than dogs - I was a little frightened of the dogs around me. Rocky, my grandparents' german shepherd, was probably one of the sweetest dogs in the world - he just slept in the hole he'd dug in the backyard all day - but nevertheless, I was terrified of him (and the skeeters flying around our heads). To me, he was a monster - sharp teeth, big claws, huge body - but my little sister Jenny was never scared of him. At three or four years old she would try to ride around on his back. Of course, Jenny was always one of those kids who liked any animal - if she found a dead mouse in the ditch, she'd pet it and feel sorry for it. But I was scared of dogs, even the ones my parents had. Our dogs were always part chow - a relatively territorial and bitey kind of dog, and after Ginger bit Jenny's stomach really hard, I refused to go near the dogs.

But there are other reasons I liked cats. Maybe I liked cats more because I was always more of an indoor kid and we kept our cats inside or maybe because the cats were smaller and I could carry them around like baby dolls. Maybe because they were quiet and sneaky, like me. Or because they could keep themselves clean. Or because they were independent and a little snobby, but would snuggle on the sofa and purr for hours. I always thought that cats had better personalities than dogs. I was a cat person through and through, and I always thought I would be that way. Until I married a guy who was allergic to cats.

I wanted a cat when we got married, but Scott's nasal passages couldn't handle one, so for over 2 years of marriage, we had no pet. Scott wanted a dog, but I didn't. The thought of a stinky dog tearing up my home and refusing to snuggle worried me. After a lot of coaxing from Scott, I agreed to get a puppy. I was anxious about it - I never thought of myself as a dog person, and since we lived in an apartment, I knew I'd have to let the dog live inside. I set up ground rules with Scott - we'd bathe the dog every week, house train him, and we had to split the responsibilities of walking him, grooming him, etc. So Scott told his parents that we wanted a puppy for Christmas, and it was set - whether I wanted one or not, we were getting a dog. Every day leading up to our new arrival, I second-guessed myself. Three days before we got Bacon, I told Scott I didn't really want a dog. But it didn't matter; we were getting one, and I had better prepare for it.

The weekend after Thanksgiving, Scott's parents called and announced that they had our "baby." Scott drove to meet them and bring him home. The moment I saw Bacon, that old cliche kicked in: it was love at first sight. All of a sudden, nothing mattered - I knew, just by looking at him. that he was the pet for me. In that moment, I became a dog person. He was the best (early) Christmas present I'd ever gotten. And even now, after having him for a year and dealing with his sick days and his poopy days and his fiercely protective bark around strangers, I'm even more of a dog person than ever before.

Bacon opened a window for me - he showed me what I'd been missing out on all of those years that I hated dogs. He's loyal and loving, playful and mischievous, and never snobby. He knows when I need to be alone or when I need a hug and a kiss, and he's always happy to oblige. He's the living proof of why humans feel drawn to having pets. People have an innate sense of wanting to love and be loved in return, and with a dog, that love relationship is never compromised or complicated. Whether I snap at him or ignore him, Bacon always loves me. For him, every day is a new day. I may leave him locked up in the kitchen for 12 hours and rather than being angry at me when I get home, he's thrilled beyond belief. (Imagine doing that to a person).

That unconditional love is how I interpret God's love. I'm not trying to trivialize God in any way by comparing God to a dog; rather, I see my relationship with Bacon as representative of God's love. For me, God's love is simple and unconditional - no matter what I say or do, the love is always there. A relationship with God is uncomplicated, unlike the relationships we have with other people. As we head into this Christmas season (which seems to start earlier and earlier every year), I'll be thinking about gifts and gift-giving, just like everyone else around me. But I'll also be thinking about the gift of unconditional love - that eternal Christmas gift from God.

Office Games 33 and 1/3 - Would You Rather...

2005-11-03T16:58:00.000-05:00

Would you rather be invisible for the rest of your life or blind for the rest of your life?

Office Games Part Deux - Who Would You Do?

2005-10-27T16:54:00.000-04:00

Who Would You Do? is a game that can be played many different ways. It can be a simple choice between two people: Would you rather "do" (get your freak on with) Bill or Ted?

Or the game could be played with regard to a category, such as Who would you do: ex-College professors and you just name any of the college professors you had that you would sleep with.

Or the game could be played with regard to the people in the same room with you when you discover the game: i.e., who would you do in the room?

But for now, I'll give you a choice. But you must choose - you can't say you'd rather die or be celibate for the rest of your life. Also, feel free to give a reason as to why you chose the person you chose. So here goes:

Who Would You Do: Ashley Simpson or Marge Simpson?

"The Office" Games

2005-10-24T17:04:00.000-04:00

On a recent episode of NBC's The Office, a small fire starts in the building and the employees of Dunder Mifflin have to evacuate the office and hang out in the parking lot. In order to pass the time, Jim (played magnificently by John Krasinski) leads his fellow co-workers in a few ice-breaker type games: Would You Rather, Who Would You Do?, and my all-time favorite: Desert Island (Top Five).

In keeping with my new favorite sitcom's game choices, I want to post a series of articles dealing with each of these games. The first game we'll play is a Top Five category. So here we go:

All Time Top Five Desert Island Movies

1. Lost in Translation
2. Il Postino
3. Groundhog Day
4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
5. Y Tu Mama Tambien

Now remember, as Jim points out in the episode when Pam tries to put Legally Blonde in her list, these are your desert-island movies, not your guilty pleasures. These are the five movies you would choose to watch if you could only watch five movies for the rest of your life. So take it seriously. If you could only watch five movies for the rest of your life, which ones would you choose?

Virtual Mad Libs, Second Edition

2005-10-18T18:07:00.000-04:00

Perhaps the first post of this running series asked too much of my readers, so I've decided to post a much shorter list for Mad Libs. Here's your list:

1. type of family member
2. last name
3. adjective
4. first name
5. adjective
6. nickname

Once I get a few entries for this passage, I'll post them and then give you another Mad Lib word list. Have fun!

Elizabethtown Review

2005-10-15T22:49:00.000-04:00

Bloom: Period pieces beware: I'm taking on a contemporary role! I even get to talk on the telephone... up yours, Legolas!

Cameron Crowe's feature film homage to his father, Elizabethtown, is the story of a depressed, estranged son struggling in his career, who must suddenly face a parent's death and travel back to his roots to deal with the funeral. Along the way, he meets a unique, beautiful girl who is so full of life and little tidbits of advice that she changes his life. I liked this movie better the first time I saw it, when it was called Garden State.

As the estranged son Drew Baylor, Orlando Bloom tosses aside swords, bows, and arrows, and ventures into the world of contemporary characters. Bloom took over the role of Drew after Ashton Kutcher had been cast and fired by Crowe for not being able to act. And that's a good thing, because Kutcher would have turned this middle of the road dramedy into a piece of crap not worth watching. Bloom is nice to look at, and his eyebrows hint at an edge of sorrow in his life, though in some of his scenes, I was not quite convinced that he was the right man to play the young, corporate business tycoon/ inventor Drew Baylor. Bloom isn't quite slick enough (and I'm not talking about his hair) to play Baylor; I imagine Topher Grace or Ryan Reynolds could have done a little more with the role.

As the kooky, crazy, lovable, underappreciated-by-her-boyfriend-Ben love interest Claire, Kirsten Dunst locks into the Southern accent and does pretty well staying in character. However, Claire says a lot of ambiguous fortune-cookie lines that are supposed to be really deep but don't quite make sense: "I'm impossible to forget, but hard to remember." Her best moments are when she says the simple lines, like "Let go" when she's telling Drew to let go of his father's blue suit so she can hang it up for him. Obviously, what she means though, is for Drew to let go of the melancholy that has engulfed his life.

Other great moments in the film occur with Chuck, a groom-to-be staying at the same hotel as Drew, and the accidental burning of a paper mache bird. In addition, the realistic portrayal of a large Southern family adds to the sense of gravitas in the film; rather than stereotyping the Kentucky branch of the Baylor family, Crowe provides a cast that seems truly Southern in their dialect and mannerisms.

As for the rest of the casting, the acting talents of Judy Greer and Susan Sarandon (as Drew's sister and mother, respectively) were wasted in this movie. Greer, best known for her comedic roles in 13 Going on 30 and Arrested Development, tries to make the most of her flatly written character, but as the stereotypical slightly neurotic, slightly sympathetic younger sister, Greer hardly has a moment to shine. Sarandon, a veritable powerhouse of an actress, is reduced to a few schticky lines here and there as the Contemporary West Coast mother trying to handle her husband's sudden death. Unfortunately, Sarandon does have one scene to herself: the unbearably long and uncomfortable stand-up routine she performs at her husband's memorial service, followed by an even more unbearably long and uncomfortable tap dance routine. The comedy act and dance performance are supposed to highlight her creativity and uniqueness as the woman who really loved Mitch, but instead, I was as horrified as Greer pretends to be in the film. Rather than covering my mouth, though, I wanted to cover my eyes.

As always with Crowe's movies, the soundtrack is the best aspect of the film, but Crowe uses the music to carry the emotional heft of the film, rather than letting the actors carry the burden of making the audience feel something. The pen-ultimate road trip at the end of the movie provides some good tunes and offers some beautiful snapshots of American landscape, but a jarring visit to the hotel site of Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination seems to scream TAKE THIS MOVIE SERIOUSLY! The visit is completely unnecessary to the plot and really has nothing to do with Drew's journey into himself. Ultimately, the movie runs a little long, tries to be too poignant, and leaves the viewer wishing he'd just paid for the soundtrack.

Grade: B -

Virtual Mad Libs

2005-10-15T00:19:00.000-04:00

Ahh, the world of Mad Libs - the place where adjectives, adverbs, and names of people in the room find their true calling. The place where a convertible chicken can drive off into the sunset, or a creamy creamer can transport cream through time (yes, at our house we like to use the same word many times in all its many variations throughout a Mad Lib - we find that it often heightens the hilarity).

Our generation has grown up with these wonderful literary masterpieces and in honor of my love for Mad Libs and my love for classic literature, I've decided to create a series of virtual Mad Libs from different novels I have lying around. Basically I'm just taking passages and inserting your words. So, give me your words, and I'll put them in a paragraph from a famous book such as Wuthering Heights or The Great Gatsby.

Here's your list:

1. adjective

2. present tense verb

3. present tense verb

4. girl’s nickname

5. noun

6. past tense verb

7. present tense verb

8. present tense verb

9. plural noun

10. present tense verb

11. male name

12. obstacle

13. religious figure or leader

14. religious figure or leader

15. past tense verb

16. adjective

17. expletive

18. verb

19. noun

Remember to number your answers when you post! After a few people have done this and I've inserted their words into the passage, I'll post the original and the context. Have fun!

Your Dreams - Accurately Analyzed, Free of Charge!

2005-10-10T17:04:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had a dream that was so real, yet so bizarre, it had to mean something? Well today's your lucky day. I, Eugenia Mae Hacker, am a certified Dream Analyst. I interpret accurately every dream I hear, and I do so for no fee at all! So please, tell me your dreams and I'll interpret them for you. Perhaps you dreamed that a tree fell on you and you were paralyzed from the waist up. Obviously that sort of dream means your boss hates you. Maybe you dreamed last night that your parents are getting a divorce and leaving you with all their bills. Clearly, that dream means that your dog is about to lose his baby teeth. I know it all! So please, tell me your dreams and I'll tell you what your future holds. See you on the astral plane!

Toodles,

Eugenia Mae Hacker

Slip-ups

2005-09-30T12:43:00.000-04:00

Hey all you Jennifer Garner fans,

Jennifer was on the Tonight Show earlier this week and she let it slip that she is going to have a baby girl! It was totally an accident because she was trying to keep it a secret, but it was so funny when she said it because her eyes got really wide and she covered her mouth with both hands. She is so adorable.

Speaking of slip-ups, this week I was giving a quiz to my students over This Boy's Life and the first question was "What caused Jack to become addicted to morphine?" (the answer is "cut off his finger in shop") and the second question was "Who did Jack move in with when he left Dwight's house?" and as I asked the question I remembered that he moved in with Chuck Bolger, but after Chuck's place, Jack moved in with his biological father. However, the answer I was looking for was Chuck's name, not Jack's father, so I clarified my question by saying "Who did Jack move in with right after he cut off his finger in shop?" Immediately I realized I'd answered the first question, and of course my first instinct was to acknowledge what I'd done, so even those who didn't know I'd answered the first question realized it once I said "okay, I just gave you a freebie." I know I had to look completely red and flustered because everyone laughed and only one person got that question wrong on the quiz (because the student obviously doesn't listen to me at all in class).

It reminded me of my 9th grade English teacher, Mrs. Behrens, who gave us weekly spelling quizes. Once, while she was giving a spelling quiz, she said the word "plebian" and someone asked her to repeat it, so she did. Then another person asked if she would use it in a sentence, so she did. Then another student asked her if she would please spell it, and she said, "Sure. P-L-E-B-I-A-N." Mrs. Behrens was so tired that day, I don't even think she realized what she'd done.

My life seems to consist of slip-ups. It's so hard for me to censor what comes out of my mouth sometimes. In fact, my in-laws are going through the process of adopting a baby from China and they wanted to keep it a secret from their parents until they actually had a picture of the child and a date set to go get her. But of course, I was so excited about the new baby that right in front of my in-law's father I asked about the adoption process. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice, but I wanted to kick myself in the groin.

What are your slip-ups?

Just Like Purgatory

2005-09-28T11:23:00.000-04:00

Witherspoon: Why did I think this movie was a good career move?

Ruffalo: I was just thinking the same thing...

Sitting through the movie "Just Like Heaven" is pretty much what I imagine sitting in purgatory must be like. It's not really bad, but not really good. I kept waiting for something to happen, and nothing ever did. Scott and I (and the movie, and the other people in the theater) just kind of co-existed for a couple of hours.

Following in the tradition of the contemporary Romantic Comedy, "Just Like Heaven" is neither romantic nor funny. I'm not dismissing the Romantic Comedy as a genre in and of itself; in fact, many Romantic Comedies are downright good movies (such as "When Harry Met Sally" or "Big" or "13 Going on 30"), but those movies are carried by great performances, chemistry between actors, and likeable characters. "Just Like Heaven" lacks those elements. Don't get me wrong, the movie has it moments, but they are few and far between.

Mark Ruffalo is a great actor, but in "Just Like Heaven," his character (David) is so flat, you'd think he was cut out of construction paper and glued to the set. Ruffalo does what he can with the character, but ultimately, a few soulful looks and furrowed brows can't bring to life a poorly written character, and in some ways I felt Ruffalo had kind of given up and was just showing up for work to get paid.

Reese Witherspoon usually delights audiences in her vehicles, but her character, Elizabeth, is so anal and bossy that she's hard to like. She reminds me of Meg Ryan in "French Kiss" - uptight, prudish, and too neurotic to care about. To top it off, there is no chemistry between Ruffalo and Witherspoon. Sure, Ruffalo's David is supposed to be standoffish in that "I've been hurt and I'll never love again" kind of way, but even in the end when Elizabeth has supposedly taught David to open up his heart, the performances are stilted and slightly uncomfortable.

Heder: I need an afro and brown suit to make people laugh.

I didn't have extremely high expectations when I went to the theater (after all, the movie has a premise that's hard to buy: man falls in love with ghost who thinks she's still alive). Still, I thought Jon Heder's role as a medium between this life and the spiritual realm would offer a few laughs. Sadly, Heder seems to have left his comic timing on the set of "Napoleon Dynamite." He offers a few slow blinks and says "Righteous" in a laid-back tone, which may cause the viewer to smile. But an all out laugh fest? Even Heder can't offer that in this film.

The humor of the film rests solely with Donal Logue, who has the funniest lines in the movie. He's so funny as Ruffalo's best friend that I was disappointed that he was only in about 5 minutes of the movie total. Logue brings the energy and laughs to the film that the movie so badly needs - perhaps he was able to muster enthusiasm because he knew he only had to be on set for a few days.

Overall, "Just Like Heaven" is certainly a "Wait-For-DVD-if-you-watch-it-at-all" movie. In the meantime, watch "Ghost" for the same basic story line; sure, you'll have to see Patrick Swayze make the same constipated face for every emotion, but at least you'll have Whoopi, who really makes "Ghost" what it is.

Grade: C

Top Five Pet Peeves

2005-09-27T15:29:00.000-04:00

Watching people floss. I hate when movies or t.v. shows force you to watch someone floss just because the actor is flossing in a scene while having an important conversation with his or her significant other (Example: Mark Ruffalo flossing in XX/XY - I love the guy, but the flossing looks painful and the scene lasts almost 10 minutes!)
When people say "I could care less." I'm not a grammar nazi - I mean, I barely even take off points in my students' essays for grammatical errors. But I hate when a person says "I could care less" when he's talking about something he doesn't care about - it just sounds so ignorant. If you could care less about something, then you must care at least a little bit, but if you couldn't care less, then you care the least amount possible (which is not at all), thus the correct phrase is "I couldn't care less" about so-and-so.
When someone walks through the front door in a scene on t.v. and doesn't close the door behind him/herself because the door is no longer in the shot. What the show doesn't realize is that just because the door is no longer in the shot doesn't mean that it is no longer in our minds. Just shut the damn door!
When people misquote movies or song lyrics or t.v. shows or books after claiming that they love that particular work. It's painful to hear and even more painful to watch a person try to remember what exactly Homer said that was so funny. I know this sounds rude, but if it takes you five tries to quote something right to me, I'm not going to laugh or agree with you; I'm either going to think that you're stupid or that you must not really love what you claim to love, thus you're a poser. Bottom line: respect the work you're quoting enough to quote it correctly.
When people claim that their biggest pet peeve is racism or sexism (or any other "ism"). Discrimination or persecution of a group of people simply because they are different is an injustice, not a pet peeve. Refering to these injustices as pet peeves trivializes the severity of the problem. "Pet peeves" are silly little things that annoy you, not actions or attitudes by others that cause disharmony in the world.

I hope this list of pet peeves doesn't offend anyone. Of course, I could care less if it does.

Top Five Crushes

2005-09-25T14:12:00.000-04:00

Hey guys and girls - ever think that if that one particular celebrity got to know you - the real you - he or she would absolutely love you?

My first crush has been a life-long crush, as innocent now as it was when I was four: Bruce Springsteen. Sure, he's old enough to be my dad, but I'll never forget the way I felt the first time I saw his butt in those tight jeans on the Born in the USA album. Talk about glory days. I think "I'm on Fire" is the sexiest song ever recorded.

When I was thirteen or fourteen I used to daydream about riding around in a rowboat with Chris O'Donnell or making out with Noah Wyle in a telephone booth. I even had a thing for Dermot Mulroney for a while. (who's that? you might ask - well, the best way to describe him is Julia Roberts's best friend in "My Best Friend's Wedding," though my crush developed long before that with the movies "Samantha" and "The Thing Called Love").

Ahh, nothing compares to those first celebrity crushes - the heart palpitations during the opening credits of ER when Carter looked around anxiously or the laughter of your family and the slamming of your fists on a pillow when you announced that you were going to marry him one day.

Alas, just like the cropped denim vests and pastel windsuits you once loved, those crushes were tossed to the wayside so that hipper, more fashionable crushes could blossom. So, here are two of my current lists: My Top Five Male Celebrity Crushes and My Top Five Girl Crushes.

Top Five Male Celebrity Crushes

1. Mark Ruffalo
2. Peter Krause
3. Jason Bateman (now and back when he was on the Hogan Family)
4. Ewan McGregor
5. Bruce Springsteen (yes, I still have the hots for him, after all these years)

Top Five Girl Crushes

Jennifer Garner (that's no surprise)
Kristin Davis (Charlotte from Sex and the City)
Scarlett Johansson
Kiera Knightly
Clare Danes

Of course the girl crushes are either women that I wish I could be best friends with or they played a role that I identified with (like Angela on My So-Called Life).

Who are your top five crushes?

Top Five Lists

2005-09-24T11:30:00.000-04:00

High Fidelity is by the far the best novel from the uber-talented Nick Hornby. In the novel, Rob organizes his life in top five lists, from the top five best American movies to the top "five women who don't live on [his] street but would be very welcome if they ever decided to move into the area" to his "desert-island, all-time, top five most memorable split-ups" (the list that sets the framework for the narrative).

This book changed my entire way of thinking about pop culture - I now embrace my love of pop music, films and television shows, rather than pretend that they're not as important as they really are to me. Through Rob, Hornby acknowledges how encumbered yet enthralled by pop culture the average Westerner is - the television or radio has served as a wet nurse for many of us since childhood. It is through pop music and the media that we learn about love and aspirations, heartbreak and solitude. As Rob commiserates, "What came first--the music or the misery? Did I listen to music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to music? Do all those records turn you into a melancholy person?" It's a Catch-22. He goes on to say, "Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands--literally thousands--of songs about broken hearts and rejection and pain and misery and loss. The unhappiest people I know, romantically speaking, are the ones who like pop music the most; and I don't know whether pop music has caused this unhappiness, but I do know that they've been listening to the sad songs longer than they've been living the unhappy lives" (p.25). And yet, Rob can't escape his love for pop songs, and neither can I. I am as obsessed with music as I am with movies, television shows, and books. These are the contemporary art forms; these are the relics which we will pass down from our generation to the next. And just as Rob is obsessed with categorizing these genres into top five lists, so am I. I can't just like something, I have to figure out where it fits on a list of favorites. Everything has to be ranked or judged with regard to something else in that same category.

So in honor of my all-time favorite novel, I've decided to post a series of top five lists. And here's the first:

Top Five Favorite Songs Written by Ben Folds:

"Smoke"
"Emaline"
"Annie Waits"
"The Luckiest"
"Landed"

Okay, that was pretty hard, and now I am going to rack my brain to see if I really do like those five more than "There's Always Someone Cooler than You" and "Philosophy." But you get the idea. What are your suggestions for future top five lists?

Girl Crush Alert

2005-09-23T19:07:00.000-04:00

Just like my husband has a man crush on Johnny Depp, (http://cagefighter030180.blogspot.com/), I too have a crush on a celebrity of the same gender. Her name is Jennifer Garner, and to show you how much I love her, just consider this: I have created about 20 actor wish lists on my TIVO, and Jennifer Garner was the first one I made. And the only girl on there for a long time (I recently added Drew Barrymore, not because I have a girl crush, but because I respect her for not being a slave to the anorexic beauty standard of Hollywood...okay, maybe I have a slight girl crush on Gertie too).

Who else loves Jennifer Garner?

Manpire Shout-Out

2005-09-23T18:48:00.000-04:00

Just a friendly shout-out to my favorite vidding website: www.manpire.com! If you're interested in watching music videos about the Angel/ Buffy Series, Firefly Series, or just a few random videos of movies such as Anchorman and Wet Hot American Summer, this is the place to go! Shout out to the creators of the site, Girlpire and Beasley Jr. (my sister and brother) for maintaining it and letting me showcase some of my vids. Hope you enjoy!

Reasons Why I am a Baconlover

2005-09-23T18:30:00.000-04:00

When Bacon sleeps on my feet, I feel his heartbeat in my toes.

Bacon smiles. Maybe not in this picture - but sometimes he just looks at me and grins, as if he is truly happy to be with me. Usually he's smiling so he'll get part of my sandwich, but still, he's the most irresistable creature in the world.

He sleeps with his legs spread wide open for all the world to see his nether-regions.

He's completely house-broken -- he can hold it in for over 12 hours if he has to (but we never make him hold it that long!) And when he's sick he throws up on the pooch pad so the clean up is a snap - isn't that thoughtful?

Bacon wakes me up every morning by standing next to the bed, resting his head on the pillow, putting his face next to mine and licking my lips. So does my husband, but that's a different story.

Usually he'll let me hold him in my arms for a few minutes, then he jumps down. But last week when Bacon had a fever he wouldn't get out of my arms for over an hour at the vet. He just rested his head on my shoulder and sighed like a sick kid. Poor baby - his temperature was 104.3 degrees! He's all better now, though!

Do dogs have souls? Most of the people in my family don't think they do, but those are also people who make their dogs live outside and only pet them for ten minutes a day. I guess it all depends on what you think a soul is. My younger sister swears Bacon doesn't have a soul but that her guinea pig Starla does have a soul. Of course, Starla does have one thing Bacon doesn't: butt cheeks.