Thursday, October 27, 2005

Office Games Part Deux - Who Would You Do?

Who Would You Do? is a game that can be played many different ways. It can be a simple choice between two people: Would you rather "do" (get your freak on with) Bill or Ted?

Or the game could be played with regard to a category, such as Who would you do: ex-College professors and you just name any of the college professors you had that you would sleep with.

Or the game could be played with regard to the people in the same room with you when you discover the game: i.e., who would you do in the room?

But for now, I'll give you a choice. But you must choose - you can't say you'd rather die or be celibate for the rest of your life. Also, feel free to give a reason as to why you chose the person you chose. So here goes:

Who Would You Do: Ashley Simpson or Marge Simpson?


Monday, October 24, 2005

"The Office" Games


On a recent episode of NBC's The Office, a small fire starts in the building and the employees of Dunder Mifflin have to evacuate the office and hang out in the parking lot. In order to pass the time, Jim (played magnificently by John Krasinski) leads his fellow co-workers in a few ice-breaker type games: Would You Rather, Who Would You Do?, and my all-time favorite: Desert Island (Top Five).

In keeping with my new favorite sitcom's game choices, I want to post a series of articles dealing with each of these games. The first game we'll play is a Top Five category. So here we go:

All Time Top Five Desert Island Movies

1. Lost in Translation
2. Il Postino
3. Groundhog Day
4. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
5. Y Tu Mama Tambien

Now remember, as Jim points out in the episode when Pam tries to put Legally Blonde in her list, these are your desert-island movies, not your guilty pleasures. These are the five movies you would choose to watch if you could only watch five movies for the rest of your life. So take it seriously. If you could only watch five movies for the rest of your life, which ones would you choose?

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Virtual Mad Libs, Second Edition

Perhaps the first post of this running series asked too much of my readers, so I've decided to post a much shorter list for Mad Libs. Here's your list:

1. type of family member
2. last name
3. adjective
4. first name
5. adjective
6. nickname

Once I get a few entries for this passage, I'll post them and then give you another Mad Lib word list. Have fun!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Elizabethtown Review


Bloom: Period pieces beware: I'm taking on a contemporary role! I even get to talk on the telephone... up yours, Legolas!

Cameron Crowe's feature film homage to his father, Elizabethtown, is the story of a depressed, estranged son struggling in his career, who must suddenly face a parent's death and travel back to his roots to deal with the funeral. Along the way, he meets a unique, beautiful girl who is so full of life and little tidbits of advice that she changes his life. I liked this movie better the first time I saw it, when it was called Garden State.

As the estranged son Drew Baylor, Orlando Bloom tosses aside swords, bows, and arrows, and ventures into the world of contemporary characters. Bloom took over the role of Drew after Ashton Kutcher had been cast and fired by Crowe for not being able to act. And that's a good thing, because Kutcher would have turned this middle of the road dramedy into a piece of crap not worth watching. Bloom is nice to look at, and his eyebrows hint at an edge of sorrow in his life, though in some of his scenes, I was not quite convinced that he was the right man to play the young, corporate business tycoon/ inventor Drew Baylor. Bloom isn't quite slick enough (and I'm not talking about his hair) to play Baylor; I imagine Topher Grace or Ryan Reynolds could have done a little more with the role.

As the kooky, crazy, lovable, underappreciated-by-her-boyfriend-Ben love interest Claire, Kirsten Dunst locks into the Southern accent and does pretty well staying in character. However, Claire says a lot of ambiguous fortune-cookie lines that are supposed to be really deep but don't quite make sense: "I'm impossible to forget, but hard to remember." Her best moments are when she says the simple lines, like "Let go" when she's telling Drew to let go of his father's blue suit so she can hang it up for him. Obviously, what she means though, is for Drew to let go of the melancholy that has engulfed his life.

Other great moments in the film occur with Chuck, a groom-to-be staying at the same hotel as Drew, and the accidental burning of a paper mache bird. In addition, the realistic portrayal of a large Southern family adds to the sense of gravitas in the film; rather than stereotyping the Kentucky branch of the Baylor family, Crowe provides a cast that seems truly Southern in their dialect and mannerisms.

As for the rest of the casting, the acting talents of Judy Greer and Susan Sarandon (as Drew's sister and mother, respectively) were wasted in this movie. Greer, best known for her comedic roles in 13 Going on 30 and Arrested Development, tries to make the most of her flatly written character, but as the stereotypical slightly neurotic, slightly sympathetic younger sister, Greer hardly has a moment to shine. Sarandon, a veritable powerhouse of an actress, is reduced to a few schticky lines here and there as the Contemporary West Coast mother trying to handle her husband's sudden death. Unfortunately, Sarandon does have one scene to herself: the unbearably long and uncomfortable stand-up routine she performs at her husband's memorial service, followed by an even more unbearably long and uncomfortable tap dance routine. The comedy act and dance performance are supposed to highlight her creativity and uniqueness as the woman who really loved Mitch, but instead, I was as horrified as Greer pretends to be in the film. Rather than covering my mouth, though, I wanted to cover my eyes.

As always with Crowe's movies, the soundtrack is the best aspect of the film, but Crowe uses the music to carry the emotional heft of the film, rather than letting the actors carry the burden of making the audience feel something. The pen-ultimate road trip at the end of the movie provides some good tunes and offers some beautiful snapshots of American landscape, but a jarring visit to the hotel site of Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination seems to scream TAKE THIS MOVIE SERIOUSLY! The visit is completely unnecessary to the plot and really has nothing to do with Drew's journey into himself. Ultimately, the movie runs a little long, tries to be too poignant, and leaves the viewer wishing he'd just paid for the soundtrack.

Grade: B -

Virtual Mad Libs



Ahh, the world of Mad Libs - the place where adjectives, adverbs, and names of people in the room find their true calling. The place where a convertible chicken can drive off into the sunset, or a creamy creamer can transport cream through time (yes, at our house we like to use the same word many times in all its many variations throughout a Mad Lib - we find that it often heightens the hilarity).

Our generation has grown up with these wonderful literary masterpieces and in honor of my love for Mad Libs and my love for classic literature, I've decided to create a series of virtual Mad Libs from different novels I have lying around. Basically I'm just taking passages and inserting your words. So, give me your words, and I'll put them in a paragraph from a famous book such as Wuthering Heights or The Great Gatsby.

Here's your list:

1. adjective

2. present tense verb

3. present tense verb

4. girl’s nickname

5. noun

6. past tense verb

7. present tense verb

8. present tense verb

9. plural noun

10. present tense verb

11. male name

12. obstacle

13. religious figure or leader

14. religious figure or leader

15. past tense verb

16. adjective

17. expletive

18. verb

19. noun

Remember to number your answers when you post! After a few people have done this and I've inserted their words into the passage, I'll post the original and the context. Have fun!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Your Dreams - Accurately Analyzed, Free of Charge!


Have you ever had a dream that was so real, yet so bizarre, it had to mean something? Well today's your lucky day. I, Eugenia Mae Hacker, am a certified Dream Analyst. I interpret accurately every dream I hear, and I do so for no fee at all! So please, tell me your dreams and I'll interpret them for you. Perhaps you dreamed that a tree fell on you and you were paralyzed from the waist up. Obviously that sort of dream means your boss hates you. Maybe you dreamed last night that your parents are getting a divorce and leaving you with all their bills. Clearly, that dream means that your dog is about to lose his baby teeth. I know it all! So please, tell me your dreams and I'll tell you what your future holds. See you on the astral plane!

Toodles,

Eugenia Mae Hacker