Slip-ups

Hey all you Jennifer Garner fans,

Jennifer was on the Tonight Show earlier this week and she let it slip that she is going to have a baby girl! It was totally an accident because she was trying to keep it a secret, but it was so funny when she said it because her eyes got really wide and she covered her mouth with both hands. She is so adorable.

Speaking of slip-ups, this week I was giving a quiz to my students over This Boy's Life and the first question was "What caused Jack to become addicted to morphine?" (the answer is "cut off his finger in shop") and the second question was "Who did Jack move in with when he left Dwight's house?" and as I asked the question I remembered that he moved in with Chuck Bolger, but after Chuck's place, Jack moved in with his biological father. However, the answer I was looking for was Chuck's name, not Jack's father, so I clarified my question by saying "Who did Jack move in with right after he cut off his finger in shop?" Immediately I realized I'd answered the first question, and of course my first instinct was to acknowledge what I'd done, so even those who didn't know I'd answered the first question realized it once I said "okay, I just gave you a freebie." I know I had to look completely red and flustered because everyone laughed and only one person got that question wrong on the quiz (because the student obviously doesn't listen to me at all in class).

It reminded me of my 9th grade English teacher, Mrs. Behrens, who gave us weekly spelling quizes. Once, while she was giving a spelling quiz, she said the word "plebian" and someone asked her to repeat it, so she did. Then another person asked if she would use it in a sentence, so she did. Then another student asked her if she would please spell it, and she said, "Sure. P-L-E-B-I-A-N." Mrs. Behrens was so tired that day, I don't even think she realized what she'd done.

My life seems to consist of slip-ups. It's so hard for me to censor what comes out of my mouth sometimes. In fact, my in-laws are going through the process of adopting a baby from China and they wanted to keep it a secret from their parents until they actually had a picture of the child and a date set to go get her. But of course, I was so excited about the new baby that right in front of my in-law's father I asked about the adoption process. Luckily, he didn't seem to notice, but I wanted to kick myself in the groin.

What are your slip-ups?

Just Like Purgatory

Witherspoon: Why did I think this movie was a good career move?

Ruffalo: I was just thinking the same thing...

Sitting through the movie "Just Like Heaven" is pretty much what I imagine sitting in purgatory must be like. It's not really bad, but not really good. I kept waiting for something to happen, and nothing ever did. Scott and I (and the movie, and the other people in the theater) just kind of co-existed for a couple of hours.

Following in the tradition of the contemporary Romantic Comedy, "Just Like Heaven" is neither romantic nor funny. I'm not dismissing the Romantic Comedy as a genre in and of itself; in fact, many Romantic Comedies are downright good movies (such as "When Harry Met Sally" or "Big" or "13 Going on 30"), but those movies are carried by great performances, chemistry between actors, and likeable characters. "Just Like Heaven" lacks those elements. Don't get me wrong, the movie has it moments, but they are few and far between.

Mark Ruffalo is a great actor, but in "Just Like Heaven," his character (David) is so flat, you'd think he was cut out of construction paper and glued to the set. Ruffalo does what he can with the character, but ultimately, a few soulful looks and furrowed brows can't bring to life a poorly written character, and in some ways I felt Ruffalo had kind of given up and was just showing up for work to get paid.

Reese Witherspoon usually delights audiences in her vehicles, but her character, Elizabeth, is so anal and bossy that she's hard to like. She reminds me of Meg Ryan in "French Kiss" - uptight, prudish, and too neurotic to care about. To top it off, there is no chemistry between Ruffalo and Witherspoon. Sure, Ruffalo's David is supposed to be standoffish in that "I've been hurt and I'll never love again" kind of way, but even in the end when Elizabeth has supposedly taught David to open up his heart, the performances are stilted and slightly uncomfortable.

Heder: I need an afro and brown suit to make people laugh.

I didn't have extremely high expectations when I went to the theater (after all, the movie has a premise that's hard to buy: man falls in love with ghost who thinks she's still alive). Still, I thought Jon Heder's role as a medium between this life and the spiritual realm would offer a few laughs. Sadly, Heder seems to have left his comic timing on the set of "Napoleon Dynamite." He offers a few slow blinks and says "Righteous" in a laid-back tone, which may cause the viewer to smile. But an all out laugh fest? Even Heder can't offer that in this film.

The humor of the film rests solely with Donal Logue, who has the funniest lines in the movie. He's so funny as Ruffalo's best friend that I was disappointed that he was only in about 5 minutes of the movie total. Logue brings the energy and laughs to the film that the movie so badly needs - perhaps he was able to muster enthusiasm because he knew he only had to be on set for a few days.

Overall, "Just Like Heaven" is certainly a "Wait-For-DVD-if-you-watch-it-at-all" movie. In the meantime, watch "Ghost" for the same basic story line; sure, you'll have to see Patrick Swayze make the same constipated face for every emotion, but at least you'll have Whoopi, who really makes "Ghost" what it is.

Grade: C

Top Five Pet Peeves

1. Watching people floss. I hate when movies or t.v. shows force you to watch someone floss just because the actor is flossing in a scene while having an important conversation with his or her significant other (Example: Mark Ruffalo flossing in XX/XY - I love the guy, but the flossing looks painful and the scene lasts almost 10 minutes!)
2. When people say "I could care less." I'm not a grammar nazi - I mean, I barely even take off points in my students' essays for grammatical errors. But I hate when a person says "I could care less" when he's talking about something he doesn't care about - it just sounds so ignorant. If you could care less about something, then you must care at least a little bit, but if you couldn't care less, then you care the least amount possible (which is not at all), thus the correct phrase is "I couldn't care less" about so-and-so.
3. When someone walks through the front door in a scene on t.v. and doesn't close the door behind him/herself because the door is no longer in the shot. What the show doesn't realize is that just because the door is no longer in the shot doesn't mean that it is no longer in our minds. Just shut the damn door!
4. When people misquote movies or song lyrics or t.v. shows or books after claiming that they love that particular work. It's painful to hear and even more painful to watch a person try to remember what exactly Homer said that was so funny. I know this sounds rude, but if it takes you five tries to quote something right to me, I'm not going to laugh or agree with you; I'm either going to think that you're stupid or that you must not really love what you claim to love, thus you're a poser. Bottom line: respect the work you're quoting enough to quote it correctly.
5. When people claim that their biggest pet peeve is racism or sexism (or any other "ism"). Discrimination or persecution of a group of people simply because they are different is an injustice, not a pet peeve. Refering to these injustices as pet peeves trivializes the severity of the problem. "Pet peeves" are silly little things that annoy you, not actions or attitudes by others that cause disharmony in the world.

I hope this list of pet peeves doesn't offend anyone. Of course, I could care less if it does.

Top Five Crushes

Hey guys and girls - ever think that if that one particular celebrity got to know you - the real you - he or she would absolutely love you?

My first crush has been a life-long crush, as innocent now as it was when I was four: Bruce Springsteen. Sure, he's old enough to be my dad, but I'll never forget the way I felt the first time I saw his butt in those tight jeans on the Born in the USA album. Talk about glory days. I think "I'm on Fire" is the sexiest song ever recorded.

When I was thirteen or fourteen I used to daydream about riding around in a rowboat with Chris O'Donnell or making out with Noah Wyle in a telephone booth. I even had a thing for Dermot Mulroney for a while. (who's that? you might ask - well, the best way to describe him is Julia Roberts's best friend in "My Best Friend's Wedding," though my crush developed long before that with the movies "Samantha" and "The Thing Called Love").

Ahh, nothing compares to those first celebrity crushes - the heart palpitations during the opening credits of ER when Carter looked around anxiously or the laughter of your family and the slamming of your fists on a pillow when you announced that you were going to marry him one day.

Alas, just like the cropped denim vests and pastel windsuits you once loved, those crushes were tossed to the wayside so that hipper, more fashionable crushes could blossom. So, here are two of my current lists: My Top Five Male Celebrity Crushes and My Top Five Girl Crushes.

Top Five Male Celebrity Crushes

1. 1. Mark Ruffalo
2. 2. Peter Krause
3. 3. Jason Bateman (now and back when he was on the Hogan Family)
4. 4. Ewan McGregor
5. 5. Bruce Springsteen (yes, I still have the hots for him, after all these years)

Top Five Girl Crushes

1. Jennifer Garner (that's no surprise)
2. Kristin Davis (Charlotte from Sex and the City)
3. Scarlett Johansson
4. Kiera Knightly
5. Clare Danes

Of course the girl crushes are either women that I wish I could be best friends with or they played a role that I identified with (like Angela on My So-Called Life).

Who are your top five crushes?

Top Five Lists

High Fidelity is by the far the best novel from the uber-talented Nick Hornby. In the novel, Rob organizes his life in top five lists, from the top five best American movies to the top "five women who don't live on [his] street but would be very welcome if they ever decided to move into the area" to his "desert-island, all-time, top five most memorable split-ups" (the list that sets the framework for the narrative).

This book changed my entire way of thinking about pop culture - I now embrace my love of pop music, films and television shows, rather than pretend that they're not as important as they really are to me. Through Rob, Hornby acknowledges how encumbered yet enthralled by pop culture the average Westerner is - the television or radio has served as a wet nurse for many of us since childhood. It is through pop music and the media that we learn about love and aspirations, heartbreak and solitude. As Rob commiserates, "What came first--the music or the misery? Did I listen to music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to music? Do all those records turn you into a melancholy person?" It's a Catch-22. He goes on to say, "Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands--literally thousands--of songs about broken hearts and rejection and pain and misery and loss. The unhappiest people I know, romantically speaking, are the ones who like pop music the most; and I don't know whether pop music has caused this unhappiness, but I do know that they've been listening to the sad songs longer than they've been living the unhappy lives" (p.25). And yet, Rob can't escape his love for pop songs, and neither can I. I am as obsessed with music as I am with movies, television shows, and books. These are the contemporary art forms; these are the relics which we will pass down from our generation to the next. And just as Rob is obsessed with categorizing these genres into top five lists, so am I. I can't just like something, I have to figure out where it fits on a list of favorites. Everything has to be ranked or judged with regard to something else in that same category.

So in honor of my all-time favorite novel, I've decided to post a series of top five lists. And here's the first:

Top Five Favorite Songs Written by Ben Folds:

1. "Smoke"
2. "Emaline"
3. "Annie Waits"
4. "The Luckiest"
5. "Landed"

Okay, that was pretty hard, and now I am going to rack my brain to see if I really do like those five more than "There's Always Someone Cooler than You" and "Philosophy." But you get the idea. What are your suggestions for future top five lists?

Girl Crush Alert

Just like my husband has a man crush on Johnny Depp, (http://cagefighter030180.blogspot.com/), I too have a crush on a celebrity of the same gender. Her name is Jennifer Garner, and to show you how much I love her, just consider this: I have created about 20 actor wish lists on my TIVO, and Jennifer Garner was the first one I made. And the only girl on there for a long time (I recently added Drew Barrymore, not because I have a girl crush, but because I respect her for not being a slave to the anorexic beauty standard of Hollywood...okay, maybe I have a slight girl crush on Gertie too).

Who else loves Jennifer Garner?

Manpire Shout-Out

Just a friendly shout-out to my favorite vidding website: www.manpire.com! If you're interested in watching music videos about the Angel/ Buffy Series, Firefly Series, or just a few random videos of movies such as Anchorman and Wet Hot American Summer, this is the place to go! Shout out to the creators of the site, Girlpire and Beasley Jr. (my sister and brother) for maintaining it and letting me showcase some of my vids. Hope you enjoy!

Reasons Why I am a Baconlover

When Bacon sleeps on my feet, I feel his heartbeat in my toes.

Bacon smiles. Maybe not in this picture - but sometimes he just looks at me and grins, as if he is truly happy to be with me. Usually he's smiling so he'll get part of my sandwich, but still, he's the most irresistable creature in the world.

He sleeps with his legs spread wide open for all the world to see his nether-regions.

He's completely house-broken -- he can hold it in for over 12 hours if he has to (but we never make him hold it that long!) And when he's sick he throws up on the pooch pad so the clean up is a snap - isn't that thoughtful?

Bacon wakes me up every morning by standing next to the bed, resting his head on the pillow, putting his face next to mine and licking my lips. So does my husband, but that's a different story.

Usually he'll let me hold him in my arms for a few minutes, then he jumps down. But last week when Bacon had a fever he wouldn't get out of my arms for over an hour at the vet. He just rested his head on my shoulder and sighed like a sick kid. Poor baby - his temperature was 104.3 degrees! He's all better now, though!

Do dogs have souls? Most of the people in my family don't think they do, but those are also people who make their dogs live outside and only pet them for ten minutes a day. I guess it all depends on what you think a soul is. My younger sister swears Bacon doesn't have a soul but that her guinea pig Starla does have a soul. Of course, Starla does have one thing Bacon doesn't: butt cheeks.